No, I Don't Know Where I Am, Either.

On Sunday, I found myself in Birmingham once again. After all, if adventure does not befall a young lady in her own village, she must seek it abroad! Thankfully, this visit didn't involve any sighting of the Cathedral Church of St Philip, or what might have been taking place in their yard. Once was enough.

True to form, I was approached at least three times during the course of the day by people wanting to know where the nearest bus stop is, or where Suchastreet is. Why does everyone gravitate towards me in these situations? Even if I did know the answer to their question, I wouldn't be able to explain it to them. I am the worst person in the world at giving directions. Naturally, the only response I could give was ""I'm sorry, I don't know." At this point, the person invariably switches to their default setting: I'm going to ask you again.

Is there something incredibly difficult to understand about I don't know?

My mind harked back to Vienna, when I was constantly approached to the point where I did actually make a sign that said "DON'T ASK ME. I DON'T KNOW WHERE I AM" and gave very serious consideration to wearing it around my neck all day. Can these people not see that I'm just guessing at everything? The story of my life, that. Just guess at everything. Can these people not see that I'm just following this line they've painted on the floor for me? I don't know where I'm going, but I guess I'm about to find out.

It was then that I was approached by The Swiss Family (Robinson). Being Swiss, I didn't understand a word they were saying. "Flurky nurky yog." I did try to understand, but it was just totally beyond me. Miss Hall taught to us to say "ich bin hier Fremd" in such a circumstance. See, I did learn something at school! So I said that, for all the bleeding good it did. I was promptly asked again. "Flurky nurky yog?" I tried to think of something to say in reply, but all that came out was "kein Deutsch!"* So they asked me again. What am I supposed to do? Why do they persist in asking me? Why don't they go and ask that nice man over there who clearly works here? In the end, I actually had to resort to "no comprendable!" and running away.

Why does this always happen to me? Do I look globally local? Do I carry myself with confident assurance? Whatever it is, I wish it would stop.

* Me no speaky German